If you answered yes to any of the following questions, you are struggling with feelings of worthlessness and shame. But you are so much more than your infertility. Counseling can help you see that. Sadness is a normal reaction to unfortunate events. Research shows that infertile couples are more likely to struggle with depression.
Infertility can generate a good deal of nervousness. Some of that is to be expected. Being nervous about upcoming fertility tests especially invasive ones , waiting for results, and worrying about treatment side effects and results can all get your nerves shaky. If you have been experiencing these feelings, you may be dealing with something more than normal nervousness. You may have infertility-related anxiety. Both anxiety and depression can lead to getting frustrated more than normal, as well as losing your patience more easily.
Anger and frustration over infertility can also be misdirected at those around you. You may find yourself feeling angry at random pregnant women or those with small babies. This is because anger is often the opposite coin of sadness. Wherever there is anger, there is sadness lurking on the other side.
Some fertility drugs can cause concentration problems. Signs of concentration problems include If you have experienced these symptoms, you may want to consider counseling. Infertility places tremendous pressure on a couple. Some couples come closer, while others feel they are drifting apart. The financial stress of infertility can also come between couples. If you feel your relationship is suffering, seeing a counselor together may be a good option.
This can seriously impact your sex life. Problems some couples may experience include:. Depression and anxiety can also worsen your sexual health. Also, some hormonal imbalances that cause infertility can also impact your sex life. Sex may be painful due to reproductive diseases, like endometriosis. This can, in turn, harm your sex life. But maybe the stress has gotten to you , and you find yourself having a drink to relax a night.
Food can be a drug. Do you find yourself eating to numb your emotions? Do you binge and then feel guilty for eating so much? The difference between emotional eating and enjoying a treat is the enjoyment factor. Often, when someone is eating to numb difficult feelings, the person feels worse — and not better — after indulging.
Alternatively, some people lose their appetites during times of extreme stress. Changes in your eating patterns, as well as changes in your weight, can be signs of depression. Depression and anxiety can interfere with sleep. These can be signs of depression or anxiety.
Keep in mind that some fertility drugs can interfere with your sleep patterns. Talk to your doctor if your sleep troubles start when taking a particular medication or fertility drug. Pelvic pain can be severe and steady or come and go.
The intensity and character of pain also ranges from a dull ache, sharp pain, cramping, pressure or heaviness in the pelvis. Other common symptoms include pain during intercourse, pain with menstruation and pain while having a bowel movement. Treatment for pelvic pain depends on your diagnosis. Talk to our experts. A man may be feeling similar frustration and disappointment as he and his partner go through yet another round of treatment — and yet another month without conceiving.
But many see their role as being strong for their partner. The same is true for a female partner who is not the one with the fertility issue — she may downplay the importance of her own feelings because she's not receiving treatment. It's true that ongoing fertility treatment can take a huge toll, both physically and emotionally.
Studies suggest that, as a group, women with fertility problems are as anxious and depressed as women with cancer, heart disease, or HIV.
One reason may be that the physical demands of fertility treatments, including blood tests, pills, daily hormone injections, ultrasounds, egg retrievals, and surgery, can be a source of stress and emotional upheaval. Also, society often fails to recognize the grief caused by infertility, so people struggling to conceive tend to hide their sorrow, which only increases feelings of shame and isolation. Here's how to avoid the most common pitfalls for couples facing fertility problems.
And see a list of resources that can help you and your partner cope. While undergoing fertility treatment , many people tend to live in month-to-month cycles of hope and disappointment that revolve around ovulation calendars and menstruation.
As they navigate a tight schedule of tests and treatments, they place their lives on hold — postponing vacations, putting off education, and disrupting their careers. Others find that the sorrow, anger, and frustration from dealing with prolonged fertility problems invade every area of life, eroding self-confidence and straining friendships.
Realize and accept that you will have some ups and most likely many downs as you deal with your fertility problem. Reflect on your commitment to becoming a parent , and read our top coping strategies to help you get through this trying time.
Consider joining a support group if you decide to go ahead with treatment, and connect online with others in the BabyCenter Community. Many couples say that once they start worrying about having a baby, sex becomes more of a chore than a pleasure. Most fertility treatments require you to have sex at very specific times — hardly an ideal way to set the mood for romance or enjoy sexual spontaneity.
If you find your sex life deteriorating, and you're unable to remember the meaning of romance, take a break from your treatment regimen for a month or two and try to rekindle the love and sense of fun that brought you together in the first place.
Also keep in mind that this crisis is temporary — it will be resolved sooner or later, and once it is, you'll want to continue a healthy, fulfilling sexual relationship with your partner. For now, if difficulties persist, consider couples therapy with a counselor who has experience with fertility issues.
These people may seem uncaring or thoughtless, but friends and family mean well when they ask about your plans for parenthood. They may not know you're having fertility problems or, if they do, want to know how things are going. Nevertheless, having to respond to these questions can be painful, especially at get-togethers and holiday gatherings when family — and children — are often focal points. You might answer simply, "I'm working on it," or "I'll let you know when I have news.
However, if you're comfortable talking about your fertility problems and think you have a sympathetic listener, by all means be open about it. Talking about what you're going through can be a huge relief. If certain situations are too painful for you — if all your siblings had babies in the last two years, or you keep getting invited to baby showers — give yourself permission to skip these get-togethers and other social events or at least to have a good cry afterward.
Protect yourself and your sense of well-being as you undergo treatment. Even in the best of times, financial concerns exert enormous pressure on relationships. Factor in a couple's intense, frustrated desire to have a child plus the high cost of fertility treatments , and the tension over money can be unbearable.
Force yourself to face facts about finances, hard as that may be. And even if you have adequate coverage, your finances will likely suffer for a time. To avoid arguments about money, sit down together and develop a financial plan.
Start with your insurance: Find out exactly what your plan does and doesn't cover.
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